Favoritism Is Blocking Your Team’s Success

It’s human nature to “click” with some people more easily than others. Maybe you share a hobby, grew up in similar places, or just have personalities that mesh. That’s normal in life, but in leadership, it can become a silent team-killer.

Favoritism (preferential treatment of certain direct reports based on your relationship with them rather than on merit or performance) undermines trust, destroys morale, and stifles collaboration. Even good, well-intentioned leaders can fall into this trap if they don’t actively manage it.

What Favoritism Looks Like at Work

Favoritism isn’t always as obvious as giving a friend a promotion. It can show up in subtle ways:

• Personal connections: gravitating toward those who share your age, background, political views, or hobbies.

• Communication style: spending more time chatting with people who think and talk like you.

• Work distribution: consistently giving “stretch” assignments or visibility opportunities to the same small group.

When this happens, things we call “in-groups” and “out-groups” start to form, where some employees feel valued, while others feel overlooked. Over time, that damages engagement and performance across the board.

How to Spot If You’re Playing Favorites

Self-reflection is critical. Ask yourself:

• Do I give each person the same level of attention, advice, and feedback?

• Am I distributing high-level assignments equitably, or do I rely on the same go-to people?

• Do I praise certain team members publicly more than others?

• Am I unconsciously spending more time with people who share my personality or interests?

If you answer “yes” to even one of these, favoritism may be creeping into your leadership.

How to Stop Playing Favorites

The goal isn’t to deny human chemistry, you’ll always click more easily with some people than others. The key is ensuring those preferences don’t dictate opportunities and support.

Here are a few strategies:

1. Balance your attention. Keep a mental (or physical) tracker of who you’ve given feedback, coaching, or praise to.

2. Leverage your team. If you struggle to connect with someone, partner with another leader or teammate who does. Use them as a bridge to better understand and support that individual.

3. Standardize assignments. Create a rotation for stretch projects or client exposure so that everyone has access to growth opportunities.

How to Repair Damaged Dynamics

If favoritism has already eroded trust, it’s not too late to fix it. It starts with humility and openness.

Here’s an example of what you might say:
“I’ve been reflecting on my working relationships with the team, including ours, and I feel they could be more productive. I recognize my role in this and want to improve both our relationship and how I support you.”

This type of honesty rebuilds credibility and signals to your team that you’re serious about being fair and inclusive.

Final Thought

Leaders don’t need to be perfect. They need to be aware. Favoritism may be a natural human instinct, but unchecked, it blocks team success. By reflecting, rebalancing your attention, and rebuilding trust when needed, you can create an environment where everyone feels seen, supported, and set up to thrive.

#LeadershipDevelopment #InclusiveLeadership #TeamSuccess #WorkplaceCulture #FairLeadership #LeadershipTips