How To Lead Someone You Don't Like

Let’s be honest...leadership would be a lot easier if we naturally clicked with everyone on our team. But in real life? Personalities clash, friction happens, and sometimes the person you struggle with most is the one you’re responsible for leading.

Here’s the truth: you don’t have to like someone to lead them effectively, but you do have to respect them. Great leaders rise above personal preference and lead with intention, fairness, and emotional intelligence.

Here are seven best practices to leading someone you don't like:

1. Separate Personal Feelings from Professional Responsibilities

Leadership isn’t about who you “vibe” with. It’s about outcomes, development, and alignment.
Focus on performance, not personality. Hold yourself accountable to the standard you’d expect of any leader: objective, consistent, and anchored in purpose.

2. Find Common Ground & Shared Goals

You may not connect personally, but you can always find alignment professionally.
Shared goals create a bridge, and collaboration becomes easier when both people know what they’re working toward and why it matters.

3. Respect Is Non-Negotiable

Respect is the baseline for all healthy working relationships.
You don’t have to be best friends, but treating someone with fairness, dignity, and humanity improves communication, productivity, and trust, even when the relationship is strained.

4. Don’t Let Bias Drive Your Decisions

Be honest with yourself:
“Would I respond the same way if I liked this person?”
This simple question helps uncover unconscious biases and ensures you’re leading from integrity, not irritation.

5. Keep Communication Clear & Constructive

When tensions exist, communication often becomes passive-aggressive, avoidant, or overly harsh.
Resist that urge.
Stay direct, respectful, and solutions-focused. Overcommunicate rather than retreat.

6. Embrace Diversity in Personalities & Work Styles

Not everyone will think, communicate, or work the way you do, and that’s exactly what makes a team strong.
Differences create balance, innovation, and perspective.
Your job as a leader is not to mold everyone to your preference but to unlock their unique value.

7. Know When to Adjust, and When to Let Go

If a personality clash is interfering with team performance, address it openly.
But if the issue is simply that you wouldn’t hang out with this person outside of work, then that’s your cue to let it go.
Your team doesn’t need you to like everyone. They need you to lead everyone.

A Final Thought

You don’t have to like someone to lead them effectively, but you do have to respect them. Leadership is about creating an environment where everyone can thrive, even when personalities don’t align.

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